100 Things America Is Not Allowed To Do
by Wolfie338
Summary: A load of things that America is not allowed to do... he wrote this during a world meeting when he was bored...


**These are always fun to do! But it was so hard thinking us 100 things (however for America, it wasn't that bad)**

**Warning: Contains hints of USUK, GerIta, Spamano, rude language, innuendos, etc**

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100 things America is not allowed to do

1. I'm not allowed to say that I'm the hero over and over and over again.

2. –Even though I am. HA!

3. –The other are just jealous of me :D

4. I'm not allowed to talk about the War of Independence with England.

5. –He'll get mad at me and start calling me a 'git'

6. –Which will end up in a trip to the nearest bar

7. –And I'll have to take him home when he gets drunk.

8. I'm not allowed to call Russia a 'Commie Bastard'

9. –Apparently, his government changed years ago.

10. –That and he'd probably kill me for it…

11. –Or set Belarus on me…

12. –Yeah, that chick's fucking terrifying

13. I'm not allowed to talk to China about my debt to him.

14. –Or he WILL hit me with his wok.

15. I'm not allowed to talk to Japan about dropping those atomic bombs on him during World War Two.

16. –Because I went a step too far, apparently

17. –Even though it was kinda pay back for Pearl Harbour…

18. I'm not allowed to tell Sealand that one day he could become a nation

19. –Because that would get the poor kid's hopes up

20. –England would hit me on the head

21. –And Sweden would come after me like the scary nation he is

22. –Why are so many European countries so scary anyway?

23. I'm not allowed to talk to France about perverted things.

24. –Because England would then hit me on the head

25. –And curse France's pants into next century.

26. –Not that he has pants.

27. I'm not allowed to talk to Italy or Romano about pizza and who makes the best ones.

28. –I made pizza what it is, so shut it.

29. –Yes, unhealthy and fatty.

30. –ENGLAND! GO AWAY!

31. I'm not allowed to talk to Prussia about who's more awesome: me or him.

32. –I totally am because I'm an actual country.

33. –He dissolved years ago!

34. –Thus, I am more awesome

35. –He may have the bird, but I have the alien…and the whale…

36. I'm not allowed to remind my brother (Canada) that Russia sits on him during World Meetings.

37. –Because then he'd feel upset

38. –And then I'd feel bad

39. I'm not allowed to bring hamburgers into the World Meetings.

40. –Because then I'd get finger marks on the important paperwork

41. –And I'd smudge the letters

42. –And then no one would be able to read it.

43. I'm not allowed to point out how bad England's food is

44. –Because he'd start to shout at me

45. –And then he'd get drunk

46 –And I'd have to drag him home

47. I'm not allowed to talk about my Sitcoms shows in the middle of the World Meetings.

48. –Even if they are awesome

49. –Iggy knows what I'm talking about, I've seen them airing the episode over in Britain

50. –He loves it really

51. –Big Bang Theory is especially epic

52. –And Friends

53. –And How I Met Your Mother

54. I'm not allowed to talk with Japan about anime

55. –Simply because he would hit me because of 4Kids, because it sucks.

56. –But now we have Funimation, which is better.

57. –Funimation doesn't change the storylines or the character names so that they sound English.

58. –Also, just because Soul Eater's Death City is set in Nevada, doesn't mean that everyone is American.

59. –Which they are.

60. –Because…they just are…

61. I'm not allowed to go around boasting about Disney

62. –Because then everyone will tie me up and throw me in the closet for a few weeks.

63. I'm not allowed to talk about the Holocaust with Germany

64. –Because then he gets all defensive.

65. –I know he didn't mean it

66. I'm not allowed to make fun of England when he says 'rubber'

67. –I know he means eraser

68. –It's not my fault that rubber means condom in America

69. –Okay, maybe it is…

70. –I dunno…

71. I'm not allowed to start talking with Austria about music

72. –Just because my music is epic and his is boring doesn't mean that I can tell him that he is wrong.

73. –That and Hungary will hit me with her frying pan

74. Speaking of Hungary, I'm not allowed to ask her what yaoi means again.

75. –Because last time I need therapy…

76. –That's one obsessed woman…

77. I'm not allowed to talk to Spain about the Spanish Armada

78. – Because he WILL throw his battle axe at me

79. –And he'll start shouting at England

80. –And then they'd get into a pirate battle

81. –No matter how fun that it…

82. I'm not allowed to ask Japan and England about who would win in a fight

83. –Pirates or ninjas.

84. –They still haven't resolved that argument.

85 I'm not allowed to ask what Italy and Romano's curls do.

86. –I can't tug at them either

87. –Or I will have an angry Germany and Spain on my back

88. –I did that once. It was scary.

89. – Seriously.

90. –World War Three almost broke out.

91. I'm not allowed to ask why Belarus won't become one with Russia.

92. –She WILL cut off my limbs.

93. –And feed them to sharks.

94. I'm not allowed to ask Russia who won the Cold War

95. –Because technically, neither of us did.

96. –But we all know that I did.

97. –Because I'm the Hero.

98. I'm not allowed to kiss Iggy during a meeting

99. –Because he will punch me

100. -And everyone will go crazy. Especially Hungary and Japan (for some reason)


End file.
